r/rareinsults • u/BallsVeryDeep • Mar 27 '23
Just an ET who likes cats
/img/4t9yhnuo28qa1.jpg[removed] — view removed post
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u/daisy0723 Mar 27 '23
Actually, I do have questions. For instance, Why has my cat suddenly decided his favorite place to sleep is on my pillow right over my head. I have had this furry bastard for about ten years but all the sudden he insists I wear him like a hat every night.
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u/dkgetoffmylawn Mar 27 '23
The cat's tummy is cold and needs warming. You happen to put off heat at a particularly comfortable spot and you don't move around much. You're the cat's tummy heater, that is all.
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u/ExamOld2899 Mar 27 '23
can I buy my cat a belly warmer?
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Mar 27 '23
Yes you can!
For a low monthly fee, I can enter your home and transfer my body heat to your cat’s belly. Packages range from bi-weekly to nightly. Entry is always quiet and smooth, you’ll barely notice us.
As a promotion, we’ve already given you a 1 month free trail, it expires in 5 days.
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u/ExamOld2899 Mar 27 '23
Are you a hot single lady near me? On second thought, your username scares me
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u/AshTreex3 Mar 27 '23
You have brain cancer
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u/Pixel_Flamex Mar 27 '23
there are two types of people
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u/just2browse2 Mar 27 '23
Those with brain cancer and those without
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u/whoisrokosbasilisk Mar 27 '23
people who extrapolate and
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u/Sebastianlim Mar 27 '23
Those who decide that cats can't find anywhere else to keep warm beside your head.
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u/deltan2455828 Mar 27 '23
You joke, but no shit my cats became noticeably closer to me shortly before I was diagnosed with leukemia. I really do think they could sense/smell something was off.
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u/vengefulbeavergod Mar 27 '23
Are you okay now?
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u/deltan2455828 Mar 27 '23
So far so good I guess. Just got a bone marrow transplant last week and I'm still recovering. I won't know how successful it was for another month or two. As long as I survive the next year or so, my long term odds shoot way up to like 99% or something. Thanks for asking.
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u/vengefulbeavergod Mar 27 '23
Hang in there. Kitty needs you
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u/mymainisoccupied Mar 27 '23
Looks like they need each other. The cat was legit trying to tell him there was something wrong
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u/sageofbeige Mar 27 '23
My cat scared me into thinking I had breast cancer,she'd bunt my boob with her head, stab and bite at it, growl and I felt a swelling, the swelling was because she kept stabbing me, stopped as quickly as it started.
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Mar 27 '23
It's actually known they can. There was a woman who shared her story that her cat began laying on her lap and doing that paw thing they do when they like.. kneed their claws into you but not enough to hurt you (almost as though they're massaging you) Shortly after it turns out she had a tumor either in her cervix or her ovary, cant remember which one But her cat sensed it first
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u/BrainsPainsStrains Mar 27 '23
Fuck. This hit me as so absurdly possible that I've been busting up, unprofessionally, embarrassingly, snottily and loudly.
I'm gonna laugh in hell when I realize it's a Mirror I'm looking at, aren't I ? Damn. Am I the Lunatic in the Hall ?
Fuck; now I have to put on The Kinks so I can be reminded if I am blue or if I'm green. If only I could see......
The Bicycle to the Sun trip I took from your 4 word comment was wildly fun. Thank you !!
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u/EnycmaPie Mar 27 '23
Your cat is using your brain as a router to communicate with the mothership.
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u/Japjer Mar 27 '23
Two reasons
First, they might be cold. Your noggin is warm, and your cat wants that sweet, sweet heat.
Second, they may want comfort. In cat-speak, where they sleep has meaning. If a cat sleeps by your legs at night, it's basically saying, "Hey, I got you - get some sleep, I'll keep watch." If it sleeps up by your face, it can mean, "Hey, I'm kinda scared. Can you keep me safe?"
So maybe it's coming up for comfort. Has anything in your house changed?
Source: Jackson fucking Galaxy. I love this guy
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u/Jarlan23 Mar 27 '23
What if my cat sleeps by my feet and attacks my toes throughout the night?
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u/TrollintheMitten Mar 27 '23
You must provide entertainment, if you don't provide mice, then you pay with your toes.
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u/Mickus_B Mar 27 '23
He's so easy to meme, but he knows cats. I ended up bingeing his show one day because it's so wild how he knows exactly what's up with the cat.
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u/jugo_de_hueso Mar 27 '23
If you ever need to binge more of his content, he has a YouTube channel where he uploads regularly!
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u/george-cartwright Mar 27 '23
what if my cat lays near my head, then once I'm asleep moves to my feet?
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u/death_before_decafe Mar 27 '23
It could be age related. My cat started showing early signs of arthritis around 11 and we noticed because she would avoid jumping and was choosing softer sleeping spots. Got her a heated cat bed and she's the happiest cat in the world now. Or it could be he never tried being your hat before and once he tried it he was a fan. Who knows though, cats are mysterious.
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u/rez_spell Mar 27 '23
Serious answer: Is he clingy-er in general? He may be anxious.
Did anything happen recently? Leave on a business trip? Something scary or noisy happening at home?
If his behavior has changed, it'd be a good idea to mention it to his vet, as cats are very good at hiding their pain.
If the vet says he's fine and this is the only thing he's doing differently... maybe he's just discovered how warm your head is.
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u/daisy0723 Mar 27 '23
Our whole world has been rearranged. We lost our house and are living in a hotel. My boys have all gotten places of their own. He might be feeling insecure.
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u/Fuzzy-Crab Mar 27 '23
Is your cat in good health? Changes in behaviour can indicate changes in health
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u/Balls_DeepinReality Mar 27 '23
Because he loves you.
A pets behavior is based around your own, and cats are fucking stupid. Cat is just trying to help
But keep an eye out for other behaviors because he could be asking for help too
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u/TheZyborg Mar 27 '23
Can I just say it is so wholesome how serious people have taken your question. I'm very happy you asked it - in a way it made my morning reading people's responses.
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u/Snaz5 Mar 27 '23
He wants to sleep with you (for safety) but he only just realized you would let him sleep on your bed.
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u/DeliLlama96 Mar 27 '23
Is it the same pillow you've always used or newish? About a month after I got a memory foam pillow my cat discovered that laying on it while I'm also laying on it is comfortable. She won't lay on it if I'm not in bed and she won't lay on my head if I switch it out for my old pillows, so it's something about the combination of that specific pillow and my head being on it.
Otherwise it might just be a phase your cat is going through. Sometimes cats just find new favorite sleeping spots.
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u/Cramblest Mar 27 '23
No joke, check out the cat behavior consultants youtube channel. He goes by Jackson galaxy
You may learn why your cat sleeps on your pillow now. (My guess is it wants more attention?)
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u/unpaid_official Mar 27 '23
when was the last time its former bed was washed/cleaned? could simply be too oily/hairy now
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u/UrbsNomen Mar 27 '23
That's nothing. My wife's cat had a habit of sleeping directly on her head or even on her neck. Whenever I woke up I removed him and after some time I broke this habit of him.
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u/TheVoidlessOne Mar 27 '23
I yave had 3 cats and all have collectively decided that my mouse pad is the best sleeping spot in the houce
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u/savvyblackbird Mar 27 '23
Jackson Galaxy actually has a great YouTube channel and insta
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u/cortez0498 Mar 27 '23
Oh shit I searched how to tell if my cats were fighting or playing and one of his videos came up. He looks waaaaay better now, he aged fine into the facial hair/baldness.
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u/succubusbetch Mar 27 '23
Yeah the way his television series was edited made it look like the cat-handler version of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives vs Dog the Bounty Hunter but the actual content was very good practical advice said with compassion. I am always positively surprised when I happen to see his stuff.
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u/creepyjake Mar 27 '23
This guy is actually really entertaining
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u/bpat Mar 27 '23
Yeah, he legit has super helpful cat videos on YouTube
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u/2smilyface Mar 27 '23 edited Mar 27 '23
I used to love watching my cat from hell on animal planet!
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u/sksauter Mar 27 '23
animal planer
Animal WHAT
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u/avwitcher Mar 27 '23
You know what they say, there's more than one way to skin a cat ;)
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u/ThoughtGeneral Mar 27 '23
My kids and I would watch it before they went to elementary school, years ago. They loved him!!
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u/Revolutionary-Boss77 Mar 27 '23
He is super cool person too and I wonder if he is a musician too. 🤔 and what is his music
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u/MrFluffyThing Mar 27 '23
He's a s'cat man.
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u/Revolutionary-Boss77 Mar 27 '23
Tururururur I’M SCATMAN
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u/Blackjack_Sass Mar 27 '23
Everyone stutters one way or another, so check out my message to you
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u/SirPachiereshtie Mar 27 '23
As a matter of fact, you've got nothing to holding back, so if the scatman can and so can you.
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u/Blackjack_Sass Mar 27 '23
Everyone's saying that the Scatman stutters, but doesn't even stutter when he sings
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u/INACCURATE_RESPONSE Mar 27 '23
According to the intro to my cat from hell, he’s a jazz musician by night and cat therapist by day.
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u/savingrain Mar 27 '23
His cat introduction video successfully helped me introduce two that are now bffs and one of my cats originally hated all other animals
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u/Numerous_Society9320 Mar 27 '23
Yea this wholesome ass guy taught me the difference between my cats playing and fighting.
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u/chumly143 Mar 27 '23
His process helped my get my two cats to get along, mine were far more aggressive than the example that he used, and it still worked, it was very rough and very slow (iirc he gave a timeline of a month to a couple months), like a year slow, but it worked in the end. Smart guy, just nonmainstream profession
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u/AtomicTardigrade Mar 27 '23
People mock him apparently, but him and others who deal with dogs really know their shit and can undo pretty much any behavior that's usually induced by the owner. So, in a way he's "cat owner behavior consultant"
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u/not_the_settings Mar 27 '23
unfortunately most people dont really listen to him. His number one advice is to play with your cat. Daily. Like you would always walk a dog every day, why wouldnt you play with your cat at least once a day, too?
Then he wants people to accomodate the pets in their home. You cant just put an animal in your home and expect everything to stay the same. You need 1+n litter boxes. n being the number of cats. So for one cat, 2 boxes, for 2 cats - 3 boxes and so on. And then you need to not hide them away.
Your living room needs to be made more cat friendly. that often clashes with asthetics. I.e. scratch posts by the sofa, a high ledge for the cat to climb and look down. Most peopple refuse that since it looks "ugly".
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u/ConstantSample5846 Mar 27 '23
Ceasar Milan is a hack. This guy actually really knows his stuff and his advice is very helpful.
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u/OrdinaryDoodoo Mar 27 '23
Back in the day he had a TLC show that I would watch before I went to school.
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u/eatyourbrain Mar 27 '23
Also, this looks like a shitty AI rendering of what he actually looks like.
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u/Complex_Individual94 Mar 27 '23
When I first read "cat behavior consultant". My first impression was wait.. What the hell. Until I realized it was the Cat Whisperer! Job position affirmed, meow away.
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u/Kroniid09 Mar 27 '23
And an actually valuable member of society, which I'm not sure has ever been said about someone who makes memes.
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u/No_Dragonfly_1894 Mar 27 '23
Aw Jackson Galaxy, the Cat Whisperer! He's pretty informative about their weird behavior and just seems like the nicest dude.
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u/_Idontknow_ Mar 27 '23
He is amazing. I've watched and read so much of his stuff during my cat introduction process. Genuine understanding and respect of cats in such an accessible way. I really respect that he also reviews small homes and apartments because it makes it so much easier to relate to his advice since it isnt all based around having space.
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u/designgoddess Mar 27 '23
Much better than the dog whisperer.
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u/morbidbutwhoisnt Mar 27 '23
Yo, have you seen that dog lady? She's like a dog dominatrix, but for the owners. It's insane
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u/2muchpethair Mar 27 '23
They're talking about Cesar Millan... the guy who literally abuses dogs on TV and has animal abuse charges yet still makes millions and has a new show every 3 years.
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u/morbidbutwhoisnt Mar 27 '23
But I wanna talk about the dog lady who yells at the owners for being shitty
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u/METALMIRDO Mar 27 '23
Best description of her ever. You put into words what I've always thought while watching her show.
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u/designgoddess Mar 27 '23
I don't think so.
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u/morbidbutwhoisnt Mar 27 '23
I had to look up the show name, "it's me or the dog" https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/39300000/Victoria-Stilwell-Boots-1-its-me-or-the-dog-39327682-539-857.png
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u/designgoddess Mar 27 '23
Victoria Stillwell. I know her. Very nice. Not a dominatrix at all. Positive reinforcement trainer. She's everything Caesar should be.
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u/morbidbutwhoisnt Mar 27 '23
I use dominatrix in a positive manner here
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u/designgoddess Mar 27 '23
Didn't take it as anything bad but there are people who think you need to be the boss of their dog. I didn't want any confusion as to the type of trainer she is.
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u/stormcharger Mar 27 '23
She gives off mad dominatrix vibes though lol
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u/katie4 Mar 27 '23
IIRC she said the producers had her take on that weird persona/costume/car in the early episodes, but it was eventually relaxed and now she’s just a nice British lady who educates about positive, evidence based training methods. Unlike the whisperer who unfortunately got the catchier show name and therefore more cultural staying power…
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u/wowImlate Mar 27 '23
It has been years since I’ve seen her show and I honestly could not have even told you her name, and yet I knew immediately who you were talking about. That is an A+ description of her.
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u/ratajewie Mar 27 '23
For real. Everything Cesar Milan does is against all evidence-based practice in dog behavior and training. And sadly I’m only barely being dramatic when I say “everything”. He’s genuinely awful, and he poisoned multiple generations of dog owners who have no way of knowing better.
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u/barclin Mar 27 '23
Jackson Galaxy is the coolest name I've ever heard
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u/montreal_qc Mar 27 '23
With the coolest job
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u/_Diskreet_ Mar 27 '23
Cat whisperer by day, rock star by night.
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u/BigBeagleEars Mar 27 '23
Dayman Ah Fighter of the Nightman Ah Champion of the sun Ah Master of karate And friendship for everyone
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u/Middle_Data_9563 Mar 27 '23
"M-my name? Why it's Jack...son. Yes, Jackson, uh...Galaxy! That's it!"
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u/p9k Mar 27 '23
He skimped a bit on his preparatory research and thought that the name would be nicely inconspicuous.
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u/Xiagax Mar 27 '23
Man why you gotta do the Cat Whisperer dirty like that...
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u/Inappropriate_SFX Mar 27 '23
He really does sound like a hilariously inept alien cover story. He's rocking the aesthetic though. I'd let him host the hunger games.
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u/Anooyoo2 Mar 27 '23
Is this pic really him though? Looks like a spoof. I've only got into Jackson Galaxy the last couple years, but this looks nothing like him.
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u/Inappropriate_SFX Mar 27 '23
Nah, it's an old pic but I'm pretty sure I saw this documentary on TV once. There was a time when he dressed like the future, I have no idea what he's up to now.
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u/durgadas Mar 27 '23
Dude looks odd but he's really good at his job, and very entertaining.
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u/Heather82Cs Mar 27 '23
It kills me that they try to make it as if there were follow up visits to the first one. Like, literally all of you just happened to still wear the same clothes and everything? Right.
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u/kaloryth Mar 27 '23
He looks way more "normal" after COVID, but definitely still rocks his own style. You can tell he's having a ton of fun making every video. Highly recommend his YouTube for any cat owners!
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u/MagicOrpheus310 Mar 27 '23
I remember that show! It was so sad to see his health declining, I hope he is okay these days he was a lovely bloke who really cares about every cat.
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u/Tripleat Mar 27 '23
First I heard of that, fuck didn't know. He's still doing stuff on YouTube at least.
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u/DarkLuxio92 Mar 27 '23
He's doing just great, putting out regular content on YouTube with his lovely kitties, my cats wouldn't be nearly as happy without his little lessons.
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u/Kimmalah Mar 27 '23
He had gastric bypass surgery and seems to be working hard on maintaining healthy habits, so I'd imagine he's doing much better these days.
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u/you-dont-have-eyes Mar 27 '23
That show is hilarious and actually very informative. Dude is extremely quirky but phenomenal at his job.
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u/callmefreak Mar 27 '23
He's a pretty amazing alien when it comes to cats though. I only watched a few episodes of his show before I dropped cable but one I remember in particular was about a disabled cat who couldn't really jump and the other cat being annoyed that this cat was always in it's space.
Galaxy installed shelves on the walls of the house for the able-bodied cat and made this thing with loops and I think he attached toys to the loops. The abled cat could get up onto places and watch the disabled one from high up where the disabled cat couldn't reach, and the disabled cat was able to drain his energy by playing with the homemade toy.
I also remember watching a clip on Youtube where he talked about this Cat Cafe in New York. My husband and I went there on the first day we were in NY because I saw that video. None of the cats that were in that video were there. The food was good though.
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u/UCIUNCLEATERZOOTZOOT Mar 27 '23
Probably a good thing those cats weren’t there. Cat cafés are pretty much daily adoption events, so chances are pretty good everyone was adopted.
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u/MrBeanyBoi96 Mar 27 '23
He seems like he would be interested in chipmunks. No real reason, he just seems like the type
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u/violent-transient Mar 27 '23
Ran into him many times at my local grocery store. Actually a really nice down to earth guy
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u/Next-Price3079 Mar 27 '23
I came to the comment section thinking Reddit was going to ruin some Jackson Galaxy for me. I am pleasantly surprised.
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u/TrollintheMitten Mar 27 '23
I love that everyone loves him, is happy for him and his aesthetics, and would be both unsurprised if he was an alien. Oh sure, Jackson Galaxy sounds like a great alien name, but he came here to earth to help us all get along better with other species.
I hope he gets a chance to see this post and all the love people have for him.
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u/EllieIsDone Mar 27 '23
His advice and videos were super helpful when i got my first cat at 5 weeks old and having no idea what I was doing.
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u/Wizdom_108 Mar 27 '23
Honestly now that i think about it if it came out that Jackson galaxy was an alien that would be the least surprising news I've ever heard
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u/MiamiPower Mar 27 '23
This guy is a cool dude helping cat owners. Much respect for his insight and patience. 🐈 😺
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u/WaveJam Mar 27 '23
He’s actually really cool. His style also got a bit better. His videos helped so much on how to treat my cats.
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u/RaeReallyoof Mar 27 '23
I’m sorry but this just killed me 😂🤣😂🤣 I love Jackson Galaxy but this is fucking hilarious lol 😂 Leave my man alone 🤣
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u/DeezNutsAppreciater Mar 27 '23
“Uh hey who are you?”
“Uuuuh Jackson…Galaxy…Cat…Behavior uh-consultant”
“oh that’s so perfect because we actually need a cat behavior consultant to interview”
“oh really that…that’s just great”
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u/rlm236 Mar 27 '23
I’ve actually learned so much good info on caring for cats from his Youtube channel lol
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u/PazuzusLeftNut Mar 27 '23
My parents used to drink cheap wine and watch this show that shit would have the entire house in stitches
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u/designgoddess Mar 27 '23
Typically eyes are at about the halfway point of your head. The beard make them look lower and he does have an impressive forehead.
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u/spunkychickpea Mar 27 '23
At least once a month, someone tells me I look like this guy.
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u/confuseum Mar 27 '23
He's really good though. YouTube him and all your cat questions are answered.
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u/eviltreee Mar 27 '23
How does the mod not realise this is an insult to this guy? Mod deffs gets laid out daily and doesn't even notice
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u/rareinsults-ModTeam Mar 27 '23
Rule 4: Not an insult/threat or rare insult/threat Only the spiciest and rarest of insults are allowed here, and only insults/threats are allowed here. Uncommon insults or just random statements that aren't really insults are subject to removal. This also includes insults that are just random combinations of words or insults following the random adjective+noun formula. Beware, this is somewhat up to the discretion of the moderators.